As you may remember, self-compassion was my December focus. I set out to ask myself how I could treat myself kindly every day. Unfortunately I was so busy and stressed out much of the time that I had little energy left to write about the topic.
Even though I wasn’t able to give the topic my full attention I made a couple of interesting observations.
Like I mentioned, I posed myself a simple question every day: “How can I treat myself kindly today?” The things I did were pretty ordinary – I took a walk after a busy day because I thought I would need it, prepared a proper meal instead of grazing mindlessly, or just skipped judging myself if I thought I had “failed” somehow.
When I was pondering my kind acts I realized they were just the actions I strive to do all the time, but that I approached them from a different frame of mind than I usually do.
In my judgmental frame of mind having a walk or preparing a meal are strict commandments to be obeyed. If I fail to do what’s on my todo list, I will judge myself harshly – and feel miserable afterwards.
Going for a walk because you “should” do so, or because that is the kind thing to do are identical as actions but different as inner experiences. If I try to force myself to do something I’m filled with dread and resentment. I’m certainly not motivated to go for a walk. On the other hand, If I take a walk because I want to be kind to myself I feel relaxed and positive about the whole experience.
I think self-compassion won 1-0.
Also, I want to ensure you that I didn’t turn into a spineless amoeba, but that may just be because one month is such a short time. 🙂